Sunday, May 10, 2026

PMBAR - Where the Arrows Disappear

I didn’t plan to race PMBAR. It wasn’t even on my radar. During Pisgah Stage Race, somewhere in between stages and everything that week carries with it, Boris messaged me saying maybe we could ride PMBAR together. He had done the race the year before with his friends, what he called “party pace,” and that was his plan again this year, just to go out and enjoy the day. But his friends bailed, so he reached out to me. He knew right away what that meant and said, “I know if we ride together, it’s not going to be party pace.” I laughed and told him, “No, no party pace.” At that moment it was still just a thought.

The day after Pisgah, I was out hiking with Pax, just moving and recovering, and my phone buzzed again. Boris asked me if I had recovered yet and if I wanted to race PMBAR with him. I laughed because no, I had definitely not recovered, but I said yes anyway. And just like that, I signed up for something I hadn’t planned, hadn’t prepared for, and didn’t fully understand.

The weather leading into the race added another layer to it. Early forecasts were calling for rain in the morning and later in the afternoon, and on top of that we got an unexpected cold snap just for that day and night. We started in the low 40s, and I remember thinking this day is not going to warm up at all. In the end we got lucky and the rain held off, but it never really got warm. Throughout the race it barely reached 57 degrees, the sky stayed overcast, and there was a constant cool wind that made everything feel colder.

We lined up at 8 a.m. in that cold air, and this is where things immediately felt off. Boris grabbed the passports, flipped through them, and we both looked at the booklet and at each other and said the same thing: there are no checkpoints, it’s missing pages. He ran back to the table and started going through other booklets one by one, checking if any of them had more pages, but they were all the same. Meanwhile, riders were already heading up the mountain, and we just made a call. “Boris, let’s go.”

That’s when we started climbing. Lower Black, then Middle Black, a little behind, but already passing riders, and at the same time riding into something we didn’t yet understand. It was a strange feeling, racing hard without even knowing what the race really was yet, but we knew one thing, we had to get to Mills River to actually begin.

On that first climb I also realized I made a mistake with my clothing. I wore my mandatory rain jacket because I forgot to grab my light wind vest from the car, and it didn’t take long to regret it. Not even halfway up Lower Black I was already overheating, but I knew if I took it off too early I would be freezing. We were making so many passes that I didn’t want to stop and lose positions, so I just kept climbing, uncomfortable, holding it together all the way to the top of Middle Black where everyone regrouped and started figuring out what to do. That’s where I finally took it off, wrapped it around my top tube, and knew that decision meant I would be cold for the rest of the day.

After that regroup, we hammered down Maxwell gravel, climbed Clawhammer, and then we were flying down Buckhorn, where I even got my PR. It felt fast, smooth, and strong, honestly a great beginning to what was already turning into a big day.

From there we continued, taking the full Yellow Gap gravel road, about ten miles of it, just to reach the real start. By the time we got to Mills River, we were already two and a half to three hours into the day. That’s when the race actually began. We received our passports there, learned the checkpoint locations, and suddenly everything made sense. Five checkpoints, one mandatory at Turkey Pen, and everything else up to us. 

At that moment we had some really strong coed teams right there with us, all standing around, pulling out maps, laying them on the ground, studying routes and options, but the moment you start making decisions, you realize you have no idea where anyone is actually going to go. Everyone is looking at the same map, but everyone is building a completely different race.

We climbed a bit higher and dropped into Spencer, fast and flowing and always fun, reached our first checkpoint at Fletcher Creek, which was small and uneventful and really quick, but I still said out loud, “yey, my first ever checkpoint!” and we kept moving. 

Before reaching our first checkpoint, we even stopped briefly by a small waterfall and filtered water, standing there in the middle of the forest, taking a quick moment before getting back on the bike and continuing on.

From there we headed toward Turkey Pen, but first came a big decision on Yellow Gap. Do we go up to Pilot first or drop down to Turkey Pen and get the mandatory checkpoint done? Teams were splitting both ways, and for a while it felt completely fifty-fifty. At the same time Boris started running low on energy, and soon after that came his first cramps. It wasn’t dramatic, but it was enough to know we had to be smart. We decided to go to Turkey Pen first, get the mandatory checkpoint out of the way, and then figure out the rest.

Getting to Turkey Pen felt like a reward. It was one of the best stops of the day. 

It was stocked with food and water, and this is where we got the hot pizza. Someone handed it to me and said, “Careful, it’s hot,” and I grabbed it anyway, took a bite too fast, burned my mouth instantly, and didn’t care at all. It was warm, real, and exactly what I needed. 

We sat for a moment, drank Coke, filled bottles, looked at the map, and around us people were smiling, chatting, talking about where they were going next. It didn’t feel like a race in that moment, it felt like a shared experience.

From the moment we left Mills River, the day became a series of decisions, and this is what I loved the most. Boris was constantly giving me options as we moved. He would say this trail might have a hike-a-bike, this one has a lot of river crossings, this one will probably have more elevation, and we would take all of that and slice it in our heads, section by section, deciding which direction to go next. Nothing was ever obvious, and that made it so engaging. 

One of the trails we chose on the way through those early sections turned into something completely different than expected. It was full of boulders in spots, stacked on top of each other, and Boris called them “land mines.” You would ride into one section and then another and another, sometimes for fifty feet at a time, trying to pick a line through rocks that didn’t really want to give you one, all while this beautiful river was flowing just to the left of us the entire time. And then other sections, where we thought we would have to get off and hike, turned out to be smooth, rideable climbing. You just never knew. At times we were climbing these overgrown trails with other riders, including the first female team, and we saw a few teams miss turns and have to backtrack. It was actually really nice to see so many people out there in the middle of nowhere, all trying to figure it out the same way. We were riding trails and sections we would probably never choose on a normal day, and I remember us saying to each other how special that was, that you really can’t go wrong when you’re simply out there in a beautiful forest, no matter which trail you pick. It felt like a real adventure, full of unexpected moments, challenges, and so many beautiful sights along the way.

From there the day became a series of decisions. Every direction had trade-offs, nothing obvious, nothing easy. This is where the river crossings really started, one after another. At first you try to stay dry, you look for rocks, you try to pick a line, and then you realize it doesn’t matter. The water is too deep, too wide, too constant. You step in, and cold water fills your shoes instantly, sometimes over your knees. The rocks are rounded and slick with moss, your shoes sliding, and you just move through it. Then you get back on the bike with cold socks and cold feet and keep riding until the next river, where you do it all over again. After a while you stop thinking about it. It becomes part of the rhythm.

Time didn’t make sense. I kept looking at my watch thinking how are we already five hours in, and later, seven hours, no way. I said it so many times, and Boris would just laugh and say, “No, it does feel like seven,” but it didn’t. It felt like the whole day was slipping by quickly.

We reached our third checkpoint Cantrell Creek, deep in the forest and it was one of those peaceful moments. Boris was filling bottles from the stream, I was eating pretzels and chocolate-covered blueberries, and there were other riders around us doing the same. People were smiling, talking, sharing the day, and the forest felt rich and alive, deep green, that sweet smell in the air, crickets in the background, water always nearby.

Climbing out of that checkpoint, we had the biggest decision of the day. Do we go for the last two checkpoints or just one? We were already well over seven hours in, and every checkpoint could cost another couple of hours. Boris had cramped earlier, recovered, but the pace was now more controlled. We made the call together to skip the fifth and go for Club Gap, and it felt right immediately.

The final part of the day was about holding steady and getting back strong. We had to climb Buckhorn now to Upper Upper Black, which we knew was a lot to ask when you are almost nine hours into the race. But we rode this technical climb still strong and in good spirit. The last checkpoint brought us closer to familiar trails, Club Gap, then Avery, then the connector to Clawhammer and Maxwell. I remember one of those climbs, we were both smiling, not because it was easy, but because we knew we were close and because the whole day had come together so well.

The forest stayed cool and mysterious the whole day, lush and deep green, mountain laurels in full bloom, light pink and white, appearing out of nowhere. Everything felt alive. It was so awesome to reach the top of the final climb of the day and finally descend Middle Black and then Lower Black back to the finish.

We crossed the line after about ten hours with around ten thousand feet of climbing and four checkpoints, sitting in second place at that moment. And then came the most nerve-wracking part of the entire day, sitting at the finish line and waiting for two hours, watching the trail, wondering if another team would come in with five checkpoints and push us off the podium. One strong team rolled in with four, same as us. Then another team came in with five and pushed us from second to third, and that’s when I looked at Boris and Pax and said, “I’m getting nervous now.”

It was funny because the whole day felt like bliss, relaxed, happy, completely in the moment, and now after it was all over we were sitting on edge. The last hour felt longer than the entire race. The last minutes were the worst, just staring at the finish, wondering if anyone else was still out there.

And then no one else came.

We kept our third.

And almost immediately we were already saying it, next time we are going for all five.

What stays is the feeling of the day, the cold water in your shoes, the slippery mossy rocks, the smell of the forest, the sound of water, the mountain laurels in bloom, sitting in the middle of nowhere eating hot pizza, and riding all day with a friend, making decisions, staying strong, and having an amazing time doing it.


Tuesday, April 21, 2026

Pisgah Stage Race 2026 – Camp Pisgah: Where Doubt Meets Strength


Pisgah never gets easier, no matter how many times you line up. This year, I almost didn’t race. I waited until the last few hours before registration closed. I didn’t feel prepared, didn’t feel like I had enough time on the trails, and I wasn’t even sure if I should be racing Open. But something in me didn’t want to sit this one out, so I signed up anyway. And this year I called it, Camp Pisgah!

Stage 1 started on a cold morning, and I could feel it right away. Climbing that first long gravel road, the air was sharp, and I could feel it deep in my lungs with every breath. This was a new version of the stage compared to previous years. We first rode into a really fun and flowy trail system Cove Creek, before the course turned serious.

Soon after, the climbing steepened into those classic Pisgah pitches. New connector trail was no joke. That’s where one of the riders next to me started making exaggerated cry-baby sounds on the steepest sections—half joking, half completely real—and it was honestly the perfect expression of what we were all feeling. It was so painful and so funny at the same time. That’s Pisgah. You’re suffering, but somehow still laughing.

The course kept building—more steep climbing followed by a rugged, technical Daniel's Ridge descent that demanded full focus. Later on, I made a mistake on the trail I never ride, Long Branch. I missed a turn and went straight instead of turning, losing about five minutes before realizing it. When I got back on course, I saw a group of riders ahead, and in between them was Jackie, who I didn't know at the time but she was the rider who eventually finished third overall. That was actually the only time we rode together until Stage 5.

300 Miles of Roots, Rocks, Repeat Buckle Presentation

I worked to close the gap, rode with her briefly through a fun section on Lower Butter, and then was able to move ahead again and create nice time buffer. This descend was fun! Toward the end of the stage, on the final gravel climb before the last gravel descent, I found myself riding next to another racer and pointing out crested irises growing along the side of the road. They looked so beautiful, whole colonies of gorgeous purple little flowers, moving in the wind. I joked that we could race and still have a full flower tour at the same time. Just before dropping into the final trail, we were still talking about them. At the finish, he came over and told me how much he enjoyed that moment. Even in the middle of effort, you can still see something beautiful.

Stage 2 started very differently—with a long road section that felt more like a highway effort than a mountain bike race. It was very cold, and I was honestly shivering, wondering if I needed more layers. But the pace was strong, and I was able to stay with the front group and position myself well going into the first climb of the Turkey Pen. Maddie, who was leading in GC, went by me strongly and dropped into the trail just ahead of me.

The Mills River trail was incredibly fun—updated, flowy, and just a joy to ride. We have massive river crossing though right from the start, so cold feet all day. After that came Squirrel Gap, which is not my favorite, and I was happy to get through it as clean as I could and move on. Then Buckhorn, a steady climb that always suits me well. I felt strong there and carried that momentum into the hike-a-bike, which was steep, never ending, and draining as always.

Then came Black Mountain. That descent felt endless in the best way possible—fast, technical, flowy, and incredibly rewarding. It was one of those moments where everything just clicked and I forgot I was racing. Somewhere along that stage, I also noticed the forest beginning to change. Bright green Lady Slipper orchids were popping up against the still-brown forest floor, like small signals that spring was arriving.

Stage 3, the Queen Stage, is always my favorite. It’s the hardest, longest, and most technical day, with Front Range trails, Sycamore, Upper Black, Avery, Bennett, and finishing with Middle and Lower Black. It’s a stage that demands everything, and I was really looking forward to it.

But only about 15 minutes in, climbing Sycamore on the ridge, I struck my left pedal on something—likely a root—and went straight over the handlebars. I remember flying toward a tree and thinking, just don’t hit it with your head. I landed just inches away. I got up, checked the bike—it was okay, just a bit twisted—and stood there for a moment feeling slightly dizzy, wondering if I had a concussion. Then I got back on and kept going.

Later, climbing toward Middle Black, I reached for a gel and realized my pocket was empty. All my nutrition for the day was gone. At that point, there’s nothing to do but adapt. Stay calm, stay efficient, and keep moving forward.

And somehow, despite all of that, the day came together. The climbs felt strong, the descents were exactly what I love about Pisgah—rough, technical, and fully engaging. Bennett was a highlight, and I ended up taking first on the Enduro segment there. It turned into an incredible day.

By Stage 4, everything shifted. I woke up with a severely sore throat—dry, swollen, painful—and I didn’t want to get out of bed. But I knew what was coming: Squirrel Gap in reverse, technical off-cambers, and the long climb up Laurel Mountain.

Riding along Squirrel Gap, I found myself on the edge of the trail, almost dangling off the side, with deep purple trillium flowers blooming right next to me. For a moment, everything went quiet. I forgot I was racing. I was just there, completely present, taking it in.

Right away however, I felt how little I had. No ability to push, just one steady pace. The climb after river crossing built from gravel into steep, technical singletrack, and then the hike-a-bike near the top. That section is brutal even on a good day. This time, it felt relentless—pushing the bike up rocks and roots, feet sliding backwards, every step heavy. I didn't know where to find strength to continue, it felt as there was none left, but yet I kept on going. 

And yet—even in that state—there were moments that made me smile.

There was a volunteer, John, who showed up throughout the week in completely different costumes. One day he was Superman, another a “hot nurse,” then a sailor wearing the smallest, tightest outfit imaginable. On this day, he was dressed as a lifeguard. I looked at him and yelled, “That’s exactly what I need right now—a lifeguard!” We both just started laughing.

The descent off Laurel, Pilot Rocks was rugged and unforgiving, and coming out of it in one piece felt like a small victory. The rocky switchbacks have no mercy and there are so many of them. The trail has no order, it's a boulders and a holes and a giant roots all tangled together in the most chaotic way. I felt I rode relatively strong the final push—turning the pedals and getting to the finish, knowing it was so near, was exhilarating.

Stage 5 was rough. I woke up feeling completely drained. Even more sick than the day before, I didn't know how I will get through this stage I normally adore. From the start, I knew I couldn’t push or attack. I found myself getting caught by Jackie half way through Cathy's Creek gravel climb, and we ended up staying together for most of the stage.

It turned into something really special. We rode wheel to wheel, quietly, both of us tired, just moving forward together. We climbed steep Long Branch, passed Daniel’s Ridge waterfall, grabbed bacon, and rolled into the final long 50 minute gravel climb. That climb was one of the hardest moments of the week.

Right before that at the last feed zone, Pax handed me my bottle, and I looked at him and said, “Pray for us.” I didn’t know how I was going to make that climb. 

We started the climb together—no talking, just grinding. One pedal stroke at a time. It was hard in a very honest way. No extra energy, just effort. I counted us down, 10 minutes, 20, 30, by the 40 minutes mark something changed. 

Near the top, the terrain started to undulate slightly, and I found just enough momentum to begin moving ahead. Just enough to build a gap to get into single track first. Finally came Bracken. Fast, flowy, smooth—everything you want at the end of a stage race. I rode it with everything I had left, enjoying every second and every descent, all the way to the finish. It was a bliss, however the smallest upward pitch would almost reduce me into the slow slog. It was amazing to cross the finish line, whole five days later, after experiencing so much doubt, sickness, effort, but also beauty and I would say transformation, of the forest and of me... I needed that... 

Through all of it, I truly loved my bike on this course, Orbea Oiz. It climbed aggressively, descended with confidence and traction, and handled the rugged terrain beautifully. The freshly tuned Gulo wheels rolled smoothly over everything with trustful traction, giving me confidence throughout the week. I really enjoyed riding my bike every single day out there.

At the end of the week, I finished second Open Women overall and second overall in Enduro—my best result at Pisgah so far.

But more than the result, what stays with me is everything around it. The forest changing from winter to spring. The flowers. The quiet moments. The laughter. The shared experience.

Pisgah is relentless—but it also gives you something unexpected. 

Camp Pisgah, amazing 5 day training ride was the best thing I could have done to jump start my season!  

And I’m really glad I showed up. 


Huge thank you to all my supporters.

And thank you to Pax—for being there every day, handing bottles at the perfect moments, and somehow enjoying amazing breakfasts while I was out there eating gels and suffering! 


Thursday, April 2, 2026

Chosen Over Ready

 

Pisgah Stage Race. Few days to go time...

With the Pisgah Stage Race just days away, I found myself sitting with a decision longer than I expected.

Not about whether I love this race—I do. But about what it asks of you… and whether you’re willing to meet it where you are.

The question stayed with me.

Should I race? Should I sit this one out? And if I race—what version of it do I choose?

The one where I stay safe, controlled, maybe even win… or the one where I step into something uncertain—something that will demand everything, physically and mentally, and give no guarantees in return?

Because let’s be honest… there is no such thing as an easy win in Pisgah.

So I went inward. Ran every scenario, every possible outcome. Not to predict the result—but to understand which choice I could stand behind when the week is over.

I’m sitting at my desk. Midday. I just dropped off my Gulo Wheels for a tune-up. I still need to go ride—just a few small intervals, something to wake the legs.

The sliding door is open. It’s warm outside. My flowers sit beside me, soft air moving through the room, an overcast sky holding the light low and calm. Birds are singing. The wind chime plays in the background. Daffodils are fading now… while tiny buds are just beginning to appear on the trees.

And in all of this calm—there’s a knot in my stomach.

If you race, you know this feeling. No matter how many years you’ve been doing it, there is always that question mark.

Did I do enough? Did I train enough? Am I ready?

And strangely… sometimes the more prepared you are, the more you question everything.

But what happens when you don’t feel prepared at all? When you know you had the time… but didn’t take every step early enough to build that confidence?

That’s a different kind of weight.

I rode a lot of Pisgah only in the last week and a half—that’s when I truly started considering the race. I signed up with four hours left before registration closed.

Now I wait. And I don’t fully know what my body—or my mind—will do when the gun goes off.

On paper, the preparation isn’t where I would want it to be. The intervals didn’t fully happen.

So maybe this is it. Maybe this race becomes the training. Maybe this is Camp Pisgah.

Because here’s the truth: you are never fully ready for anything that matters.

If you wait for perfect preparation, you risk missing the very moments that define you. Tomorrow isn’t guaranteed. Strength isn’t guaranteed. Opportunity isn’t guaranteed.

So you choose.

And this is where doubt and preparation meet.

I don’t know how I will feel. I don’t know how I will perform. I don’t know how each day will unfold.

I can picture it all—

I can see myself already scaling Laurel Mountain,
that endless, painful climb,
legs grinding, breath tightening with every switchback.

And then the drop—

Pilot Rock.

A rocky, unforgiving descent—
a river of boulders, sharp edges, tight lines that demand precision.
Line choice matters. Commitment matters.
There’s no halfway riding it.

I’ve ridden it in my mind a hundred times. But imagination doesn’t carry you up the climb—or down the descent.

Reality does.

That moment—when you are on the pedals, lungs burning, legs on edge, and you find out exactly who you are that day.

Pisgah is not just a race. It’s what I call Camp Pisgah—an honest, brutal training camp disguised as a race.

Every day is tough. Rough. Relentless.

These trails don’t give anything away. This is not a smooth cross-country course. This is enduro—every day, all day—with endless climbing, constant movement, hike a bike sections, and precise control over rock, roots, and gnarly bits.

It is, without question, the most technical race I know.

And I’m not stepping into it halfway.

I’m going all in.

Not because everything is perfectly lined up—but because I want to see what’s there.

What my body can still do. How my mind responds when things get hard. Whether it resists… or locks in.

The unknown isn’t something to avoid. It’s something to step into.

The unknown is part of every start line. That’s what makes it exciting. And that’s what makes your stomach turn.

Because you truly don’t know.

And maybe the hardest part isn’t the race itself. It’s the waiting. The days leading in. The quiet tension building in the background.

Like my friend Jen said—it only feels this intense because you care. If you didn’t care, it would just be a ride.

But when you care… you choose to put yourself in a position where it will hurt.

Eighteen years of racing… and this feeling never goes away.

As race day approaches, life narrows. Everything becomes intentional. Controlled. Training fades. Energy is conserved. Every decision points toward one moment—the start line.

And then…

the gun goes off.

Everything sharpens.

No more doubt. No more overthinking. Only movement. Only breath. Only execution.

You are calm. Focused. Exactly where you’re supposed to be.

I didn’t choose this race because I feel perfectly ready. I chose it because it’s hard. Because it demands something real. Because it will show me exactly where I stand.

Not perfectly prepared—but fully committed.

And that is enough.

By the way, in just over a week, this still half asleep forest will turn lush green! 


Tuesday, March 3, 2026

Not Every Start Line Is a Peak

I wasn’t supposed to still be in Florida.

We were meant to be home already — back in the mountains — but an ice storm hit one weekend, followed by snow the next. The kind of winter weather I actually love. The kind I wanted to see, photograph, feel.

Instead, we stayed a little longer.

And when you stay a little longer in Florida, Florida does what Florida does:

another race appears.

Alligator: The Race landed on the calendar. I hadn’t planned for it. I hadn’t trained specifically for it. But I was there — so I lined up.

Race morning was cold.
Low thirties.
Strong wind.
Bright blue sky.

Cold fingers under palm trees.

At the last moment, the race was shortened from four laps to three — cutting it from roughly 32 miles to 24. I had been mentally prepared for something longer, something I could settle into.

Instead, it became sharp.

Fast.

Florida vs. Mountains

Let me be honest.

Florida racing has never truly suited me.

I thrive where races stretch out and strip you down — long climbs that burn steadily for hours. Endless gravel. Sustained ascents. Terrain where patience matters and strength unfolds slowly.

In the mountains, I don’t rush.
I endure.
I build.
I rise.

Florida asks for constant accelerations, tight turns, quick decisions.

It isn’t where my strengths sing.

And knowing that isn’t weakness.

It’s clarity.

Inside the Race

The course was fun and demanding — concrete climbs, wooden features, log-overs, tight transitions. Gun Range was fast and alive. Collarbone carried history.

Mid-race, a bright green iguana lay on the trail, stunned from the cold. Florida always adds something surreal.

Jen almost didn’t race after crashing in preride. She lined up anyway — and absolutely crushed it.

As for me, the race unfolded quietly.

I rode well.

I committed to the features.
I stayed steady.
I didn’t panic.

But when I tried to accelerate, there was nothing there.

No spark.
No surge.
No extra gear.

And that wasn’t surprising.

I had been riding steady gravel miles. Building base. Not training for repeated XC surges.

This wasn’t a season goal race. It wasn’t something I had circled for months.

It was a start line I chose to stand on.

And the result reflected exactly where I was.

On paper, it wasn’t impressive.

But it wasn’t catastrophic either.

It was accurate.

The Part We Don’t Always Share


I wanted to write about this race.

And at the same time, I wanted to forget it.

Even though I wrote notes the day after, it took longer to actually process it.

Not because it was dramatic.

But because I’m hard on myself.

When you’re known for big events and strong results, it can feel uncomfortable to finish near the back of the field at a smaller race.

But here’s the truth:

This race didn’t define anything. It just reflected where I am right now.

Performance reflects preparation.

And I simply wasn’t in a phase built for sharp XC results.

That doesn’t make the ride bad.

It just makes it honest.

When I was nine years old at my first table tennis tournament, I was unrated and matched against the number one seed in the first round. I could have walked away.

I didn’t.

Just a little over three years later, at thirteen, I won two national titles.

Because it’s never the loss that defines you.

It’s whether you learn from it.
Whether you understand what happened.
Whether you keep loving what you do enough to continue.

Funny thing is, when I think back on that Florida day now, I don’t remember the placement first.

I remember the cold air.
The trails.
The feeling of riding through Florida woods under a bright winter sky.

Yes, my legs were empty when I asked them for more.

But I genuinely enjoyed being out there.

You can ride well and still have a result that looks small.

Results depend on timing, preparation, the field, and countless variables outside your control.

You only control your ride.

That’s it.

And I’m proud of how I rode.

What Stayed With Me

Even though I’m no longer a local, I heard people cheering my name.

 

Friends.
Familiar faces.
Encouragement that had nothing to do with placement.

That mattered.

More than the result.

Some races aren’t about proving fitness.

Some races remind you where you truly thrive.

I’m at my best in the mountains.

That hasn’t changed.

But this race reminded me of something equally important:

Results are information.

They are not identity.

There will be sharper days ahead. There will be stronger performances. That’s how seasons work.

I’m exactly where I need to be.    


Monday, March 2, 2026

Six Weeks on the Levee

Florida felt different this time.

Not louder. Not harder. Just different.

Most of my rides happened on the levee — long stretches of gravel cutting through the Everglades, flat and exposed. No climbs to interrupt the rhythm. No technical sections demanding sharp focus. Just steady pedaling and open sky.

You can’t really hide on the levee. If you stop pushing, you slow. If the wind turns against you, you feel it immediately. So I focused on constant movement. On the gravel under my tires. On the endless Everglades stretching beside me. On the wind moving the tall grasses.

Some days were good.

Most days were simply steady.

And that was enough.

 

One evening, I rode past the bench I used to quietly call “my bench.” It sits along the levee where the sunset hits just right. I’ve stopped there before. Sat there. Thought there.

This time, a couple was sitting on it.

I looked at them, smiled, and waved as I rode by. There was something peaceful about seeing someone else enjoying that place. It wasn’t my bench anymore.

And surprisingly, I wasn’t upset.

It felt like a quiet reminder that nothing is ever really ours. We just pass through.

Another afternoon, just as I was starting my ride, I saw a young man sitting on the edge of the levee playing guitar. I had never seen anyone out there doing that.

It made me smile.

What a beautiful way to enjoy this place.

There was something reassuring about it — someone else finding peace in the same wide horizon. Sitting still. Listening. Playing.

And I realized that riding there is my version of that.

Different movement.
Different rhythm.
Same kind of presence.

Not all of those miles were alone.

A few evenings, after laps at Markham, Jen and I sneaked out onto the levee for extra gravel miles. We rode side by side, mostly chatting away, sometimes quiet, occasionally looking at each other and smiling.


She told me she would never be out there if it weren’t for me. And I felt genuinely happy that she got to experience something I’ve always loved.

The openness.
The wind.
The simplicity.

One evening we misjudged the light. I had no lights and still miles to go. At one point she lost hers and had to sprint back the opposite direction, maneuvering in near darkness.

It was a little chaotic.
A little dramatic.
A little thrilling.

And somehow, very us.

But most of the time, it was just me.

The sun would start high and harsh when I rolled out. By the time I turned back, it would be sinking toward the horizon, wrapping the swamps in gold, orange, and deep pink. The air would cool. The wind would pick up. Birds would begin flying toward their spots for the night before dark.

Those were the moments I felt most alive.

Cool breeze.
Strong wind.
Color shifting across the sky.
Solitude stretching in every direction.

We’ve had a lot of shifts in our lives recently. Big ones. The kind that unsettle everything.

But every time I rolled onto that levee and saw the same horizon, the same grasses moving, the same birds settling in before nightfall, I felt reassured.

The world was still there.

I was still there.

Sometimes I would stop and watch the sun drop fully past the horizon and disappear. Watching that slow fade makes you realize how quickly every second is passing by — whether you’re ready for it or not.

Soon I will be back in my mountains — the place I love deeply. Back to climbing and forest-covered trails.

But I will always miss these steady miles.

The flat horizon.
The endless sky.
The simple act of pedaling forward with nothing in front of me but wind.



Florida didn’t give me epic rides this time.

It gave me perspective.

And that was exactly what I needed.